Introduction:
Funny Confucius Quotes. Startled that I used the words “funny” and “Confucius” in the same sentence? Be not misled – these amusing quotations from Confucius have nothing to do with the actual philosopher. Actually, they cover a wide range of subjects, excluding the real-life Confucius’s favorites, such as justice and morality.
However, what makes them Confucius jokes? Confucius’ proverbs are renowned for being succinct and direct. Furthermore, many of his proverbs make use of the various meanings that some words have. The same pattern can be seen in these Funny Confucius Quotes
Jokes that begin with “Confucius says” are a great way for me to laugh when I’m feeling down. So, to make you laugh, I’ve picked some of the Funny Confucius Quotes
20+ Funny Confucius Quotes:
- “Man with one chopstick go hungry.”
2. “Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.”
3. “He who has a sharp tongue, cuts own throat.”
4. “A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.”
5. “Man who walk with nose in air very easy to hook.”
6. “Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.”
7. “If something happen but nobody post it on Facebook, did it really happen?”
8. “Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.”
9. “With great power comes great electricity bill.”
10. “Crowded elevator smell different to midget.”
11. “Man who put on itchy sweater start every day from scratch.”
12. “Man who does very little makes very few mistakes.“
13. “When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt.”
14. “He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.”
15. “War not determine who is right, war determine who is left.”
16. “Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.”
17. “Support bacteria — it’s the only culture some people have.”
18. “Everyone has a photographic memory, some people just don’t have film!”
19. “Man who have clear conscience usually have bad memory, too.”
20. “Give man fish, feed him for a day. Teach man to fish, man build industry and destroy ecosystem.”
21. “He who is stupid today is still stupid tomorrow.”
